First, a confession – I’m not a big fan of Ernest Hemingway. I’m not sure whether this lack of enthusiasm is related to the stories themselves or some tales/rumors I’ve heard about the author or some combination of the two. I’ve read a few Hemingway novels but have not been engaged deeply in the books. Hemingway’s stories are good – even very good – but just didn’t grab me like other books in the “thoughts on books” series. An exception to this is the novella, The Old Man and the Sea. I’ve read this story a few times and am engaged each time.
The old man (Santiago) was poor, hadn’t caught a fish in 84 days, and was living off the kindness of friends. He needed to catch a fish to restore his honor and sense of self-worth, not to mention his need to feed himself. Other fishermen started feeling sorry for him. To address his rather pitiful state, Santiago pushed himself beyond his limits and beyond his usual fishing patch. He hooked a giant fish that, on one hand, brought him success beyond all expectations but on the other hand, nearly destroyed him in the process.
Santiago knows he has hooked a big one, but it’s not until some hours in that he realizes that the fish is bigger than his boat! Even if he kills the fish, how can he get it back to Havana? The struggle takes days and nearly all his strength. His insistence in catching and keeping this fish is compelling. His hands were cut and bleeding, he was exhausted and then had to fend off attacks to keep his fish. He stayed the course. I asked myself whether he would have ended the quest earlier if he was younger and had years ahead of him or if he had been more successful in recent fishing trips. He had something to prove to himself and to others. I think he knew that this was his last big catch.
One lovely description is that he doesn’t see the fish as his enemy – he calls it brother and thinks it’s beautiful and worthy of respect. He knows that they both may die in the struggle, but to him it is worth the risk. Interestingly, it seemed like the fish was making a choice as well – it could have broken free earlier but didn’t. They were both in it to the end – the old man and the fish. Unfortunately, as they become the targets of predators, the old man loses part of his prize.
There are aspects of this story with which I can identify. There are other aspects that are outside of my experience and my personality. I love pushing myself and working full out, but I don’t know that I would go this far. Would I risk killing myself to achieve my goal? I don’t know. Perhaps Santiago has more heart than I do or more physical courage or greater desperation. He started out wanting to feed himself and to show the other fishermen that he was not too old or too unlucky. He ended up in a battle for his life. He also wanted to accomplish something intangible – he wanted to prove to himself and to others that he still had “it” – that thing that made him a valued person who is worthy of respect. Yet even he came to realize that perhaps he pushed too far and broke something within himself.
I see the importance about being a valued person with my mother. Every day, she asks whether she can help with dinner even though she really cannot help, practically because I have a small kitchen and make simple meals and more broadly because she isn’t able to understand simple instructions anymore. There is literally nothing for her to do and no real space for her to help. I know she still wants to contribute to life and finding ways for her to do that are increasingly challenging. The only positive thing about dementia is that she forgets these unkindnesses (nature’s and mine) and can be distracted to think about other things.
This story, in my opinion, pushes us to think about risking everything, including our lives and our health. It also focuses on seeing ourselves as valued people. What do we value more than anything else? How can we respect ourselves if we aren’t pushing the limits or contributing to life? When do we push too hard and when do we need to push harder? When is the dream within our grasp and when is it not worth the effort? How can we promote self-worth and see ourselves as the unique and special people we are, especially when we feel more like a burden to others than a contributor to life?
