So, it’s been a while since my last post because things have been a little overwhelming lately. First, my mother has needed more care than in the past. Second, I was laid off from my job. Third, my health has been challenging and I haven’t had the energy to do more than the minimum needed. Thanks to my guest bloggers, Kevin and Janet, who have added some thoughtful posts!

I mentioned in a previous post that my brothers and I are looking for a nursing home for my mother’s long-term care. This is proving to be a challenge but why is this so hard? My mother certainly qualifies for a nursing home spot. The problem is that no long-term beds are available. My brother has called and visited places and has filled out applications and Mom completed her assessment. Everything seems good … except for the lack of space for this 97 year old woman who worked until she was 75 and paid her share of taxes. After that, she has managed to survive on Social Security retirement benefits and her savings for 22 years. She did everything right … how is it that there is not a space for her?

In some ways, my mother is fortunate that she been living with me for more than 9 years, saving money and having someone to keep her company. Now she lives with my brother and sister-in-law in their home, where they will take the next shift until they can find a nursing home bed for her. The challenge for us is that she really is starting to need actual “care” rather than just companionship. The downside of in-home care is that she is not able to engage with more people. She does not have friends, except for her caregivers. She does not engage in activities in the community.

So far, it seems like she is doing well living back in New York State. They have a cat, so she can pet a furry little guy. They also have an enormous dog – he and Mom are coming to terms. He’s very sweet and almost too friendly. They have a patio so she can more easily go outside. They have squirrels in the yard. And they have snow – Mom loves snow. On our last video call, she told my brother she would help him shovel the driveway. I am so grateful that my bother and sister-in-law have been able to take Mom into their home so that I can focus on trying to get my health back on track and figuring out my job situation.

My mother is part of the Silent or Post-war Generation (born 1928 – 1945). If we think the fight for nursing home space is bad now, just wait a few years until the Boomer Generation starts moving into nursing homes in greater numbers – and I’m not talking about assisted living but about nursing homes, where some level of care is needed for daily functioning. The oldest Boomers are now 79 years old. I’m in the youngest year, at age 61 and I don’t mind saying that it’s a scary prospect for my future. Between uncertainty about Social Security benefits and the lack of options for care, I may find myself living in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere! ACK.